Lubb-Dubb

Anyone? Would anyone like to gander at what those two words mean? Up there, in my title, the two words lubb-dubb. It almost looks like one word cause there is a hyphen, and maybe it is one word. But care to guess what they mean? I’ll give you like a second to ponder >.>…..

Those two words are the words that describe a heartbeat. The rhythmic and cyclic contractions of the atrium and ventricle to push the sangre through your arteries. The reason I bring it up is that while on the dance floor some three weeks ago in Davis I discovered a new sensation. Well, not really new, but when you’re on the bus for an hour a day you have nothing better to do then think about the meaning of life and yada yada. So while on the bus, I was thinking about that sensation. I’ve felt it before, though I’ve never thought about it. This time I tried to rationalize it as best I could. What I felt was this, I felt like I was melting away on the floor. The world slowly disappeared. I stopped noticing the costumes, the darkness, the laser lights, James, Eddie, Anish, everyone started to slowly fade away and I was going into a world inhabited by dancers. We moved to the beat of the DJ, if he wanted us to clap, we’d clap and if he wanted us to jump, we’d jump. It was pretty strange, it was like he was our God and we were happy to obey cause he let us transcend the real world. He let us leave behind the worry and boredom of real life and let us be loose. To move, sway, freely to the beat of the DJ.

While I was one the bus I was thinking about this sensation. What made me feel this way? The feeling was so familiar. Nostalgic and primal. Then I thought about the beat. You know, the techno beat? That unz-unz-unz-unz-unz? It sounds an awful like a heart beat going lubb-dubb lubb-dubb lubb-dubb and so on. So I started thinking, perhaps techno reminds the subconscious of a place where we’ve all been. A place were we are all the same, where we have no gender, no bias, no prejudice. A place were we are truly the same. Can you guess such a place? She’s probably at home or at work. Inside our mothers, inside her womb. The originator of life, the place were we all come from. I know we all didn’t come from the same mother, but we were made the same way. Sperm and egg to a zygote to the uterus to a fetus. 9 months we were there developing and growing listening to the beats of life, the beat of our mother’s heart. So this is what I think. I think that on the dance floor, the beats of the DJ reminded my subconscious of the womb. It reminded me of a place where there were no worries, it allowed me to revisit a world away from this world. That is what I think, what do you think?

Marcus

Nineteen

A year ago when I turned 18 years old, I don’t remember too much of what happened. I remember Eddie coming to my door to give me a sex book hahahaha. Getting various happy birthdays from several friends, a hug from a few others and luckily no one hit me cause I think they all know what would happen if they did *flex flex* hahahaha. Not exactly the most exciting 18th birthday. I don’t even think dinner at home was all that great either. If I remember it was ruined by some arguement or whatnot.

Yet for whatever reason this year was completely different. My parents still argued before my birthday, but it seems they’ve made up over the dinner, or maybe just for me. I wish Justin was home and not at band practice though, the space next to me at the dinner table feels so empty without him. Yet, it is a curious thing how simple words like happy birthday and an effortless gesture like a hug can make a person feel so loved, so safe, so tearfully happy. Reading through the countless Facebook happy birthdays from old friends and people I have just met is really quite awesome. Almost like for just today, the whole world seemed to be happy to celebrate one in a sea of billions. It makes the world seem a little less ugly, a little less hateful and more like what I imagined it to be.

Happy birthday to me, and thank you to everyone else for making this birthday better then last year hahahahaha

Marcus

 

Protected: I’m not sure what to do with this yet

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

The color red

I had this thought after a psychology class when we learned about LSD and how it can make people hear colors and taste sounds. Then I started thinking on the bus, cause I have nothing better to do about this concept of using unrelated senses to describe. So I chose the color red and in the 20 minutes of free thought, I gave myself mental orgasms and had deep profound thoughts. I’d like to share what I was thing about, but I doubt these words will do the sights, smells, feelings and sounds of the color red any justice.

 

Red. The color red. Red like the blood in my veins. Red like the blood, because the blood carries iron, red because when spilled that iron will react with oxygen creating that rustic red. Red blood, blood that carries my family history. From the first man and woman, to the now. Red from the virgin union of man and woman to create new life. The cycle of suffering, pain to happiness, love. Iron, tears, and sweat for the newborn, fresh from the womb, crying desperately for warmth, terribly irritated from being forced from it’s amniotic home.

Red, like the bitterness and tart of wine. Vinos from ancient Italy still made the same way. Grapes harvested when the season comes and the sound of guitars and clapping as families gather to stomp the grapes. Squish squish squish, as the juice flows downwards into barrels where they will ferment. As the juice changes into the desired taste, the little Italian home is abuzz with celebration of a job well done.

A red cloth ripples in the air, tied to the head of a determined young woman she releases her battle cry and readies her blade. Clink of armor and the slicing of flesh fall to the rhythm of a beating heart. Her mind blanks out, her souls is burning red, flaming red, raging red. The bandits will not take her home. Her home set on the red soils of Dongchuan.

Redness for the burning of my tongue on my favorite home cooked dish. I don’t think tofu ever tasted so good. Shoveling the meat and tofu concoction into my mouth, I can’t help but marvel at the mystery behind eat red chilles. How can she make such a tasty meal. Everything I try never ends up the same. Maybe it is true when they say a dish made with love taste the best. So that’s what love taste like hahahaha.

Okay, I had more thoughts going on, but I think I’m done for now. I made some up just now too hahaha. Hopefully you weren’t too bored with all this :p

Marcus

My weekend

On Friday, I went to school carrying a red bag filled with clothes and a sleeping bag and arrived at school 30 minutes early for class. Then I proceeded to sleep in front of class and to any passerby (which I doubt there would be being it was 7 in the morning) I may have seemed to be a smart hobo who snuck into the warm school buildings to nap. So chem lab came and went, and soon I was wandering around downtown getting food and a giant water bottle for my impending trip. After several failed attempts to find a suitable bus to the Diridon, I manage to get there an hour early where I read and people watched. The Amtrak came and I left on it. Don’t remember too much on the Amtrak, I knocked out soon enough until some asshole awoke me with his profanity and F-bombs. It was nice of that middle aged man to basically tell him to STFU!! cause I pretty much went back to sleep by then.

Arrived in Davis to find that my supposed friends were not at the station but rather still on campus cause beanpole had to desperately chat with the midget. Anywho, never liking to sit still, I found the campus myself, and proceeded to find Eddie and James instead. Which worked out quite well, the people are so nice hahaha. Though it was weird being the only Asian walking through the town.

Hmmmm, what else happened….went to a volleyball game, went to a party too early, left too early, went to an arcade, left too early, watched half of Shawn of the Dead, and finally slept at 3:30 in the morning. Who knew only doing half of things would take up so much time hahaha. The day of Halloween, we arrived in Sacramento by 4 and it was a ghost town. I swear, I bet they knew about parties we didn’t know of>.> hahaha, by the way, does it seem weird when hedges are trimmed to look like poly-morphed people ? Maybe they used to be people and the Hyatt secretly stole them for decorations. Hmmm, we went to a haunted house thing, which was pretty uhhhh…alright :/ not really worth it. James didn’t seem scared at all, I think I’ll have to give him more props from now on hahaha. He is super awesome. Oh did I mention James has a black girlfriend named Abby? hahahaha, dang. I never saw that coming hahahaha.

Hmmm, now that I think about it, my weekend was pretty fail overall >.> At least to what I was expecting. It’s only saving grace was being able to see Eddie and James and meeting their roommates. I had more fun walking around UC Davis at 1 in the morning spouting random shit and talking then going to all the events (I lie, the dance party was pretty fun hahaha) Nice and simple, plus it didn’t come with a price tag :p

Marcus

P.S-I swear Halloween makes people crazy. There was a shooting near SJSU, a nearby tire shop caught fire I think Monday, and then today they evacuated one of the dorms cause someone threw flaming paper into the elevator shaft.

Stinking headaches

After trying my hardest to resist going on the laptop for long periods of time, I fail and each time I end up with a HUGE HEADACHE!!!! It’s like something is tugging at my optic nerves, trying so very hard to yank my eyeballs farther into my brain. To make it all worse I feel like my wonderful gray matter is siting in a marsh. My thoughts are cloudy and half assed, don’t ask me to add 1+1 cause I’ll tell you fish, don’t ask me to help you with human anatomy cause I’ll say cheeze or something, and please don’t ask me about my day cause it’s effing terrible with this headache >:[ I do remember eating dinner though cause my dad had successfully cooked chicken in all his years of cooking (which add up to like ten?). Holy crap dad, though applause will be given, cause it was really really good chicken. Now if only you could it next time hahahaha, oh wait you have a turkey to cook in a month. Hopefully that turns out well.

Along with my headaches I’m also seeing too much human anatomy. For example, on my daily bus ride home I happened to see a tree and I immediately thought that it looked like a kidney. Not a regular kidney, but a plasticized kidney with each interlobular artery and vein filled with plastic and the outer capsule removed. Then I remembered another tree I saw and I saw the bronchus of the lungs and I imagined what would happen if a marble would happen to get sucked in. It would fall through the right cause the heart will cause the left one to bend horizontally. Then I remembered a mountain range I saw and it reminded me of the anatomy of a female body if you where to lay her horizontally and look across from her toes to her face. Reminds me of something either my dad told me or I heard from an art person, structures of the human body very much mimic nature. I suppose that makes sense since the body is very much a natural product, save for all the processed crap and commercial poison in our foods……this bonsi plant next to my laptop reminds me of a lung……….

I think I should add this too, taking human anatomy has increased my Latin. I remember in junior year, my English teacher used to put up big long medical words. Since they were Latin based and we were learning Latin roots in AP bio, I could guess most of them before she would tell us what it meant. It’s pretty cool to somewhat understand a word by taking it apart and deciphering its pieces. It’s like decoding a secret language and the answer is a surgical procedure to remove kidney stones (that surgical procedure is called nephrolithotomy by the way). Now that I’m in human anatomy, you can guess where muscles go and what they do based on their name. Plus you get to understand cool medical terms that they use on House and other people are like “what the fuck is that?” and you can say “well the word means this and this and this” and House will explain it just like you did hahaha. Yeah awesome. Headache is back now, so I think I’ll shower and sleep. You know I have my first midterm tomorrow. My very first one and it’s for P.E. I hope nothing horribly wrong happens. I keep imagining weird shit and this headache doesn’t really help. Time to sleep, night.

Marcus

I don’t see dead people, but I see kidneys!!!

Swimming

Today I went swiming for 30 minutes with Son. You know, swimming for 30 minutes is a whole lot different then running for 30 minutes. Firstly I’m not drenched in my own sweat the whole time, second it doesn’t feel as tiring till you get out of the pool and sit around for a few minutes. I don’t think anyone can tell but I really can’t swim properly, it’s more like I flail around and hope to move in a single direction. But after a few laps in the pool, I started to feel like Micheal Phelps, only not as fast. So we swam, and swam, and swam and guess what? We swam for 30 minutes and I finished 17 laps. Not too shabby, but nowhere close to Son’s 35 laps hahahaha. Showered, ate my sandvich, took an anatomy test, and now I’m sitting next to Mandeep.

Oh shit I have another test today.

Marcus