I remember this distinct moment of deja vu. It happened probably freshman year of college cause I was still running regularly then. I remember standing at the top of Montgomery Hill, listening to One Republic’s “Say”, thinking about someone, looking over the landscape, EVC, downtown SJ, the valley. I remembered looking over the mountains that have become a large part of my sense of home, feeling the wind wrap around my chest and flow between my arms, watching a bird soar overhead casting a large shadow in the ground, this lone tree to my right. I remember thinking, mediating, or maybe it was more like struggling. Struggling to get a grip on myself, to rediscover myself. I remember feeling very insecure, very lonely, a longing for something to fill the void. After that day, I remember experiencing the same thing again. On a completely different day, in a different place, but the feelings were the same. I wasn’t sure if the first memory was a dream, a fabrication of my overactive imagination. The rush of remembering was surreal and I then wasn’t even sure if the second time was the dream, or maybe they were both dreams. But does it really matter? I know I spent a lot of time on that hill to think and get a grip.

hehehe, I feel like I’ve done a deja vu post before too.

-Marcus

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